My name is 信輝, I’m from Taiwan and I was recently diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. At first, I thought it was just gastric reflux.
At first, I thought it was gastric reflux, and I had a swollen throat. I went to the hospital after 2 weeks. After hearing it was stage 4 prostate cancer, I went to confirm this again with a more experienced doctor.
After my diagnosis, I felt a range of things, including:
- Excluded, frightened, helpless and insecure
- Nervous, overwhelmed and worried
- Disappointed, empty, grief, isolated, powerless and vulnerable
- Surprised and confused
I ate better most days and exercised at least 50% more.
My doctors recommended chemotherapy and radiotherapy, which I took up based on their recommendations, and financial reasons. After deciding on the treatment I would do, I felt happy and relieved but still scared and discouraged.
In terms of side effects, the ones that affected me the most were: fatigue, appetite loss and vomiting. To manage them, I relied on medication as prescribed by my doctor.
Unfortunately I had difficulties with managing living expenses.
I didn’t make any further changes, but I did stick to eating better. Right now, I don’t have much time to spend with my children.
For myself and my loved ones, I hope to recover. Given where I am, I’ve started planning for my death.
It’s dying. There’s no way to overcome the fear, for me.
Now, I feel neutral.
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