Hi, I’m Carlie, I have two kids. After I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I spent so much time just doing what I had to do for everyone else and the farm, and I pushed myself way too hard.

I’d be working in the cattle yards in 35°C heat all the while vomiting, dizzy, with my legs going out from under me. It has been detrimental to my recovery and prolonged it. Still, I had a double mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and hormone therapy, and I survived Stage 3 breast cancer.

I had an itchy nipple and sharp searing pain. Both intermittent. All symptoms were in the right breast. There was also fatigue, and I just felt “off” for approximately 6 months before my diagnosis.

At the start, I was told I had a 5-year survival rate of 90%, but that was originally when they thought it was 2B. I didn’t get told once it came back at 3B.

To handle my diagnosis, I tried different ways to handle stress.

Under my doctor’s recommendation and my own research, I underwent a double mastectomy, lymphadenectomy, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and hormone therapy. I also had pain medication, nausea medication, steroids and diazepam to help my treatment. After deciding on my treatment, I felt happy and hopeful.

Right now, I’m in remission, but I’m still on hormone therapy.

I faced side effects like fatigue, hair loss, and peripheral neuropathy. I managed them with prescribed medication.

Unfortunately, I had some financial difficulties. I live 98 km one way from the hospital. It’s our closest. We had difficulties with the cost of running the car for all appointments, spending $300 weekly.

Since treatment, I’ve cut down on smoking. I still talk and visit my parents often, and spend time with my family on trips frequently. Intimacy with my partner fell completely.

I’m trying to make things happen, like beach visits or other trips, but we have a farm so finances and time are really limited. Personally, my own dreams didn’t help to motivate me through this journey, but with my loved ones, my biggest dream is to spend quality time with them.

My biggest fear was my father passing away, as he was diagnosed terminal a month after me. I was worried about not being able to spend as much time with him as we used to prior to diagnosis. I spent as much time with him until he passed away. I didn’t have a choice in how I would overcome the fear, he died. Now I have to get used to life without him. I’m not as fearful of death now though, but I get panicked about not being around for my son.

I feel a lot now, worried, sad and scared of recurrence. I feel empty, numb, withdrawn and frustrated, with anger towards the uncertainty of the future. Still, I feel hopeful, thankful and grateful.

To others facing the same, I’d like to say:

“Try and learn to sit with it, do whatever you need to be comfortable within your own head and self. Look after you and make yourself a priority. I spent so much time just doing what I had to do for everyone else and the farm because that’s what I had always done, and I pushed myself way too hard. I would be working in the cattle yards, processing cattle in 35 degree heat all the while vomiting, dizzy, legs going out from under me etc. It has been detrimental to my recovery and prolonged it. I played the whole cancer situation down to make other people comfortable. Don’t do this! It’s not your job to make everyone else comfortable. It’s not them that’s facing a mammoth challenge, it’s you, you are the absolute priority. Ask your medical team as many questions, as many times as you need to understand what is happening to you, what is the next step etc. This is their job to assist you, and no, you are not a pain in their side, you advocate for you. This is your journey, your body so you make you the priority. Remember, always thank the medical staff, they see too much and they have feelings too and a kind thank you makes a huge difference to them.

Lastly, you’ve got this! Remember, you have a 100% record of surviving past situations or problems that you thought you never could, this is just the same only higher stakes. Always, in everything in life, but especially this journey, back yourself. If you don’t back you, nobody else will. You back yourself, and you’ll have a whole army standing beside you. There will be woeful days, but there will be some great days… just sit with it and you be ok with you!”